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February 3, 2012 by jmcarthur
I remember my first year of college. There were a lot of things missing. I was far too old for Trick or Treat. Thanks to the now defunct 3.2 beer, I did get to dress up and go to Halloween parties. There were no snow days since I lived on campus. And the library was actually for studying.
One of the things I missed the most was Valentine’s Day in school. I can still smell Elmer’s Glue as it adhered paper doilies to the shoebox I would decorate every year, hoping to have it filled with valentine cards from my classmates. I made sure to make the slot in the top extra wide for that one kid who always included a roll of Smarties with his card.
The night before Valentine’s Day was very stressful. I had my package of miniature valentine cards. It had been stressful enough picking out which ones to buy at the drug store. Do I get the ones I like, or the ones that are cool? Do I go for the current popular television theme, or do I choose classic cartoon? And then, which one do I give to HIM. You know who I’m talking about – the object of everyone’s affection, the boy we all wanted to “go steady” with. I couldn’t make it too mushy. And I didn’t want to give him the same valentine that I gave to the other boys. Why didn’t they just sell boxes with valentines that were all the same? Why put a pre-pubescent girl through such agony.
Then came the next stress-inducing portion of the holiday — opening the valentines. I’d take my box home and run upstairs like I had just completed a bank heist. Better shut the door so no one interrupts me while I commence my ceremony of opening, trying to guess who the sender was. Of course I knew what HIS writing looked like. As I sorted the cards, I set HIS aside. Candy-included cards in one pile, regular cards in the other. Ok, enough stalling – open it. Ahhh – is it my imagination, or did HE sign my valentine with a hint of adoration? Once all the cards were opened, saving the one from my teacher for last, it was time to call my BFF (Of course that was before texting and such acronyms existed.) “Did you get the same card I did from HIM?” Comparisons were made. One year, HE signed his name with a little heart on my BFF’s valentine. Mine got no heart. Oh well, there was always next year.
I wonder if my son misses the cardboard box filled with valentines? Oh wait, of course he doesn’t — he’s a guy! Maybe I’ll send him a card anyway. And enclose a roll of Smarties. 
Category Transitioning to College | Tags: , college valentines, valentines day in college | No Comments
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January 28, 2012 by jmcarthur
Last week, I wrote about following road trip etiquette, but that won’t be my last post on the subject (goodness, no). Since there are so many potential scenarios on a road trip, there are even more ways to handle each of them. This week’s post is somewhat of an extension on road trip etiquette. It’s a reminder that everyone should make an effort to be on their best behavior as soon as the keys are put into the ignition.
We all know that when a road trip goes bad, it can be a miserable experience for all. At best, a bad trip will be a waste of time and money. At worst, a bad road trip experience can ruin friendships.
To make sure that you are not the jerk that everyone is gossiping about later on, consider these essential points of road trip etiquette.
1. Bring your credit card and plenty of cash. Always pitch in your part of the expenses without being asked and do not “nickel and dime” your fellow travelers by figuring up your percentage of costs to the penny.
2. If you are not using your own vehicle, ask the owner for permission before eating or drinking in her vehicle. If you do eat in the car, be sure to toss your trash at the next stop.
3. Pack exactly what you need (and this includes food and drink), and do not expect to borrow from your friends. Also, keep in mind that several other people will need space for their luggage too, so don’t pack too many bags.
4. Never offer unsolicited advice, comments or criticisms about anyone’s driving. People are really sensitive about these things. If you’re uncomfortable, ask if you could drive for a while.
5. Learn to let offenses slide. Remember you only have to spend a few days with these people, so most of the time an argument is not worth the trouble.
Category Planning | Tags: , behavior, best behavior, etiquette, friends, lifestyle, nickle and dime, people, road trip, road trips, travel | No Comments
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January 28, 2012 by jmcarthur
It was bound to happen, and it has. The Girlfriend. Sure, there have been girls throughout my son’s teenage (and pre-teen years). Girls that were friends, dates, bffs, “steady” dates and crushes. What can I say, he’s a loveable guy. But this one is different. This girl came with a formal introduction and a look I haven’t seen on his face before. It was a cross between “I hope you like her” and “please don’t embarrass me.” Yep. This one is a girlfriend.
They say boys always marry their mothers, right? Well, I guess I didn’t realize that deep down inside I am a petite blonde who is aspiring to be a registered nurse. Maybe he will finally take an aspirin when he has a headache.
She seems nice enough. And she passed the first test – she made eye contact while she was speaking to me. And the second test – she spoke to me. There was one girl a few years back who never uttered a word in my presence, let alone looked me in the eye. My theory is that when a girl won’t talk to me, she is extremely shy, or has something to hide. And when she won’t make eye contact — it is all the more true. Not the case with this one – as soon as I’d leave the room, I could hear her chattering away at whoever else was around. Then I’d walk back in and she would clam up like someone turned the power off. And believe me, it’s hard not to talk to me. Ok, so maybe it’s hard to get a word in edgewise when you try to talk to me. But there’s no excuse for not making eye contact, right? Right? Hey, look me in the eye when you say that! Ok, I can be a little intimidating when it comes to my son. But, in the case of the girl with the eye contact problem, it turns out she did have something to hide. Ha – her fear of me!!
Ok, I will take it easy on blondie. I promise.
Category Random Road Tripping | Tags: , college, college boys, college girlfriend, college life, college students, dorm life, eye contact | No Comments
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January 20, 2012 by jmcarthur
My grandmother used to save bread wrappers to use as baggies. She would rinse them out (because you know how dirty bread is…) and hang them to dry on the breezeway. She kept butter tubs, twist ties and all kinds of things to use again. I bet she never heard the words “repurpose” or “upcycle.” Grandma was ahead of her time.
I’ve read a lot about recycling, reusing, repurposing, and upcycling lately. It seems to be a popular topic in women’s magazines and on HGTV.
It makes sense. We all have stuff we don’t use. And we all have stuff we want. If those two things can meet in the middle, everyone wins. Most of the stuff in my house that is not being used belongs to my son. Or it did, until he abandoned it to become “independent.”
He took everything he wanted to his new apartment and told me he didn’t want the rest. So as I look at the collection of things that litter his old room, I am trying to think of ways to repurpose.
His stuffed animals – that’s easy. Children’s Hospital or Goodwill will be glad to take them. Well, all but the Teddy Bear dressed up like a cowboy that his cousin sent him when he was 6. I’ll keep that one.
Two drawers of t-shirts that he outgrew long ago. We kept them because of sentimental value. They include little league shirts, a tie dyed one from a birthday party, and of course the Napoleon Dynamite. One of the magazine stories about repurposing suggested turning t-shirts into a quilt. How hard could that be? Napoleon Dynamite could then live on.
Then there are the books. Shelves and shelves of books. The library book sale is coming up. I can also take one of the classics, pull out the insides and make a handy cover for my Kindle.
And then there are the seashells. With an aunt who lives in Florida, every visit included a collecting spree. We collected a few pounds worth of shells. Once displayed around the room, they are now in a box. Hmmm… what would Martha Stewart do? Maybe glue them to picture frames or make some sort of home decor piece? Make refrigerator magnets? Maybe I’ll just hold onto them for awhile longer.
Category Random Road Tripping | Tags: | No Comments
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January 19, 2012 by jmcarthur
Whether you’re going across town or across the country, a well-planned road trip can give you the chance to bond with friends and have a good time. But there are certain rules you should follow if you want to be sure everyone has a good time. It’s very simple. You just need to have some good road trip etiquette. It can be something as simple as sharing your snacks, making sure to give other passengers room, or making sure the driver has enough to eat and drink. Make yourself a valuable member of the group by helping other people be comfortable and happy. It’ll help you all avoid the inevitable case of “the grouchies” that seems to always set in around hour four.
Road trip etiquette is really just an extension of plain old good manners. You might have to listen to a song or two that you don’t love – just to keep another passenger happy. Another thing you can do to keep the peace on a long trip is to offer to drive. Even if you only drive for an hour, that’ll take a huge burden off of the driver. It may also give her time to take a nap, so she’ll be fresh and happy to drive on to your destination (something that can also keep you all safer in the long run). And that brings me to my next etiquette tip: Know when to be quiet. If the driver needs an hour nap, don’t blast the music or talk the whole time. Have some respect for the person who is taking up the bulk of the responsibility for this trip.
The simple act of being thoughtful and respectful to your traveling partners can go a long way to making the trip enjoyable. No one is going to offer up scholarships for being the best-behaved person on the trip, but at least you’ll know you did your part. Smoking, making off-color jokes or being too loud can all be violations of road trip etiquette. Don’t be that person. Be on your best behavior and the trip will be much more enjoyable for everyone.
Category Planning | Tags: , etiquette, friends, lifestyle, manners, people, planning, road trips, travel | 1 Comment
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January 14, 2012 by jmcarthur
If the thought of you, your besties and the open road sounds appealing, you should already be planning your next (or first) road trip. But before you do, there are some rules of the road (so to speak) that you should learn. Just like anything else, there is a specific code that goes along with taking road trips, which, up until now has been unwritten. Today, I’m going to share a few road trip etiquette rules, so your next trip will be smooth sailing.
- Don’t bail. Don’t agree to go on a road trip, if you aren’t 100 percent certain that you can make it. There’s a good deal of planning and anticipation for these things, and you don’t want to disappoint your friends. Sure, you would have to bail in an absolute emergency, but short of that, get your butt in that car.
- Don’t be late. Pack everything the night before and leave it by the door. This way, if you sleep late, you can just roll out of bed and go. No one ever wants to wait for the late person, but on a road trip, that’s even truer. You’re going to be spending hours in a car before you get to your destination – everyone is anxious to get going. Don’t be that person who holds the whole thing up.
- Avoid bringing up sore subjects or anything that will cause conflict. Maybe something happened between you and your friend the day before the trip, but now isn’t the time to discuss it. If you have a fight along the way, it’ll be a really uncomfortable ride. Just wait until you get to wherever you’re going before you bring up what’s been bugging you.
- Pitch in for gas and tolls – even if you’re not driving. This one should go without saying; it’s just good manners. The driver may ask, but even if she doesn’t, you need to offer money for expenses.
Category Travel Guide | Tags: , friends, lifestyle, people, planning, road trip, road trips, rules of the road, sore subjects, tolls, travel | No Comments
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January 11, 2012 by jmcarthur
As I went internet researching as I often do when faced with a dilemma, I found a helpful little article on a website called College Tips for Parents. Oh my, I must not be the only parent in angst over their child’s problems adjusting to college. Maybe other freshmen have their GPA plummet, can’t stand their roommate and then decide to move off campus without telling their parents. Here is the question I found:
“Q: Suppose a parent does not feel their child’s transition to college is going well academically and/or socially, yet the student says everything is fine. Is there anything a parent should do, or should they avoid interfering?”
Indeed.
The article goes on to ask whether the parent can define whether there is an underlying issue such as homesickness or stress. In my case, I don’t know, but I’m assuming it’s stress. Or beer.
It then suggests approaching your child “gently” and saying something comfortingly knowing like “College must seem really different from high school. How have you found that to be so?” followed by “I remember…”
Stop right there. If there is one thing my son does not want to hear is about what I remember of my youth. I think that might be because he would rather think I was hatched fully grown. He also doesn’t want me to point out that I heard something during orientation that he forgot.
The truth is, I do know what he is going through. When I was studying how to become a journalist, back before there were any such things as blogs, let alone the internet, I had my share of struggles “adjusting” to college. The truth is my freshman year was the Year From Hell. Having been raised as an only child, I never shared my toys, or my bathroom with anyone, let alone 20 other strangers. That took a lot of getting used to. I never had tasted beer in high school. Unfortunately, that didn’t take a lot of getting used to, which may have led to my other problems, such as my inability to get good grades. Or wake up to make it to class on time.
But enough about me. The article talked about how your first-year student might encounter some “bumps” along the way. Oh ok – this is only a bump! I feel much better!
Category Breaking your mama's heart, Transitioning to College | Tags: | No Comments
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January 8, 2012 by jmcarthur
You have to admit, sometimes life is just funny. I feel sorry for the people who can’t see the humor in things. I don’t know about you, but sometimes the littlest things get me cracking up – and once you get me going, there’s no stopping it! I was just fondly reminiscing about a road trip I took with my friends to Boston a few years back. Overall, it was a great trip, but the part that stands out to me the most is the road sign that had us busting our guts the entire way. It wasn’t outwardly funny; more of an inside joke. My friend was working as an administrative assistant for a nightmarish boss that we were always laughing about. The sign was the same as the nickname we had for him. That’s more of a long story, so I won’t bother boring you with those details. But, I can show you a few more road signs that might give you a little chuckle.
Hmm, I think that’s quite the understatement. Wouldn’t you say?
No. Your other left.
Also known as: You’re going the wrong way, and there’s nothing you can do about it!
Hehe… Now, try not to think of that every time you reach a stop sign.
Ah, there’s nothing like the open road. Wait; what? I don’t think I want to go this way.
Oh, those silly stick figures; they’ll steal anything that isn’t bolted down.
Someone got a little lazy when it came to naming this place. Oh well, at least they have enough road.
Don’t disgruntled employees make the best funny road signs? Gotta love it.
I feel like this tree is trying to tell us something. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t that important.
Yes, that sure does sound like sage advice.
This sign doesn’t beat around the bush. I think I’ll turn around…
Category Funny | Tags: , administrative assistant, friends, funny, funny road signs, funny signs, humor, lifestyle, people, road trip, road trips, sage advice, stop sign, travel | 3 Comments
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January 5, 2012 by jmcarthur
I had an interesting conversation with my son the other day. He has decided to move out of his dorm and into a house shared with three other guys. College rules say he must either live in the dorm or with parents. But, he argues, “no one” follows that rule. Those must be the same no ones who weren’t allowed to stay out after curfew when they were 16, and didn’t wear coats when it was snowing.
I tried to sound as parental as possible when I said “but your dad and I are responsible for you until you are 21.” To which he countered “What planet are you from? I became an adult at age 18.” My brilliant response to that: “Ummmm,” followed by “but…”
So I did what I usually do when stumped. I got on the internet. I found there is this thing called “age of majority,” which in most states including ours is 18. At that point, parents are no longer responsible for their children’s actions – with the exception of drinking alcohol. So, my son can wreck his car, default on his rent, and commit any number of crimes without me being responsible – unless he is drunk.
Well, that shot my argument out of the water.
But it does beg the question, “If he is an adult, why am I still paying for all his stuff?” I would expect an adult to buy his own groceries, get his own car insurance, and, most of all, do his own laundry. When I brought that up to him, his response was “Ummmm, but…”
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Realizing we had hit a stalemate, we retreating to our own corners. As I went to close my Google search for “parental responsibility” one result caught my eye. It read:
“…it fascinated me to learn that in 30 states, adult children are legally responsible to pay for necessities like food, clothing, shelter and medical attention for indigent parents. These statutes, known as filial responsibility laws, are modeled on the Elizabethan Poor Laws of 1601, which made blood relatives the primary source of support for family members, the elderly included. Public assistance was available only as a last resort.”
I went on to discover that ours is indeed one of those 30 states. So, I guess my only course of action is to keep doling out cash to him until I am indigent, at which time my son will be responsible for me. I wonder if he will let me drink.
Category Random Road Tripping | Tags: | No Comments
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December 30, 2011 by jmcarthur
Last week, I went over a few ground rules for taking food with you on a road trip. This week, I’d like to share some of my favorite foods and recipes to take with me on the road. Although most of your real meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) will be had outside of the car – or at least while the car isn’t in motion, there are a few things I like to have on hand for a quick fix while we’re on the road.
Garlic Knots – Unlike pizza, which can be messy, garlic knots are a nice treat to have during a road trip. Just make sure to bring enough breath-saving gum for the whole gang or the trip might get unpleasant.
Pasta Salad – You need a good container and a fork to enjoy pasta salad, but you don’t necessarily need to keep it refrigerated (unless it’s in the heat of the summer). The carbs will make you feel full, and you can add vegetables, like broccoli and red peppers, to get some additional nutrients in your system for the haul.
Potato Salad – Like the pasta salad, you’ll need a fork and container, but this is also a good and filling snack to have on the go. It’s more of a comfort food than pasta salad, and it works really well, regardless of season. But, either way, you should keep it in the cooler.
Banana Nut Muffins – Any muffin will do, but these just happen to be my favorite. Sometimes I’ll bring a good blueberry or chocolate chip muffin along instead. If you make mini muffins, they’re easy to pop into your mouth, which equals less mess to vacuum up later.
Quick Fix Trail Mix – In a pinch, it’s always great to have a nutritious trail mix on hand. I usually make one myself and keep it in the car during long trips. Sometimes we don’t even have any of it (especially if there’s yummy food like banana nut muffins or potato salad), but it’s really good to have if someone just wants to much on something.
Popcorn – I like to make flavored popcorn for a road trip, like caramel-chocolate or cheesy-chipotle. It just makes the snack seem that much more special. With popcorn, you just have to be sure to bring extra napkins. The snack itself isn’t that messy, but your hands sure will be. If you don’t want grimy streaks on your window or cheesy lines across your car seat, bring lots of napkins.
Rice Krispie Treats — I heart rice krispie treats, especially on a road trip. They’re neat and yummy. What more could you ask for?
What are some of your favorite road trip snacks?
Category Planning | Tags: , eating, food, friends, inspiration, lifestyle, people, recipes, road trip, road trips, travel | 2 Comments
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December 25, 2011 by jmcarthur
I’m kind of excited about today’s post. That’s because it’s finally time to talk about my favorite subject: food! When I plan a road trip, I usually end up planning the music first, but then I get right down to business and plan the food. As I’ve said before, coordinating a road trip is a little bit like hosting a party – so you should either plan some snacks and beverages or designate the job to someone else. Personally, I love planning the food. But, unlike a party, things can go wrong if you bring the wrong food on a road trip.
Here are some basic guidelines that I like to follow:
- Plan to share – Don’t just bring food for yourself. That’s tacky. Even if you plan to get most of your meals out at restaurants, you should bring snacks; but always bring enough for everyone.
- Nothing messy – Sandwiches and wraps are okay as long as they aren’t dripping with sauce. Nuts and chips also make great snacks.
- Avoid common allergens – Experts believe that many more people are allergic to lactose than those who are aware of the problem. Use dairy sparingly or not at all in your road trip food, if you’d like to avoid making extra trips to the rest stop. Oh yeah, and you also might also be able to avoid a stinky car this way.
- Avoid heavy foods – You might be tempted to bring a piece of your mom’s famous lasagna for everyone, but it’s probably best if you save that for when you get to your destination. Not only does that break rules two and three, it will also leave everyone feeling full and bloated. You don’t want people feeling uncomfortable in the car for hours.
- Pack the beverages – I know it can be tempting not to drink during a road trip (to minimize bathroom breaks), but it is also important to stay hydrated. Bring the equivalent of 1 bottle of water for each person every four hours. If they want more, they can pick some beverages up at the rest stop.
- Bring lots of napkins – Even if you bring foods that aren’t inherently messy, mess is inevitable. I’m adding this one here because I’ve been guilty of forgetting the napkins (more than once). Fortunately, you can always stop and get some, but you kind of want to have them around while you’re eating. Actually, my last road trip was to drive my friend to her new home in upstate Connecticut. She had gotten a great job as a software engineer, but the job was starting immediately — as in, as soon as I dropped her off. Inevitably, she dripped a little vinegar on her shirt, but fortunately, we had the napkins ready. Good thing I’ve learned my lesson.
Category Planning | Tags: , eating, food, friends, party, planning, road trips | 1 Comment
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December 20, 2011 by jmcarthur
I remember my son’s first Christmas. He was just 3 months old. On the week before Christmas, we dressed in a onesie that looked like a red tuxedo complete with a bow tie. Then we placed him under the tree with the presents and took a roll of pictures – yes, that is when cameras used film and phones were used to make phone calls. And there was no such thing as a video game designer. Pong was probably created by an obsessive-compulsive electrician.
To further his future embarrassment, I made an appointment with a photographer and had mom and son photos taken with my little darling amid oversized packages wrapped in festive paper. Wow, I really had 90s hair back then. And now I understand why shoulder pads went out of style. But I digress…
That Christmas was amazing. At least I think it was. Still reeling from childbirth pain and postpartum depression, I recall spinning through the holidays in a kind of fog. Half euphoria, half “when-am-I-gonna-get-to-sleep-through-the-night” exhaustion. I have no idea what gifts I gave or received that year. It was all about the baby.
Nineteen years later and it’s the week before Christmas. My darling son just wooshed through the house gathering up furniture, accessories and utensils – basically everything that was not tied down – to equip his new “apartment.” You may have read my earlier post about his hatred of all things dorm. Well, resourceful young man that he is, he has found two roommates and a house off-campus to rent. Wait – I thought Freshmen had to live on campus or at home. Ahhh… but no one actually follows that rule, I am told. And where is this house, may I ask? It’s a few blocks from campus. Having gone to that same school a hundred years ago, I know the neighborhood well. He gives me the address. I’m picturing Animal House.
But what about moving home? No. What about getting a different roommate? No. What about trying a different dorm? No. He wants to be independent, and he wants his parents to pay for it, darn it!
So here I am a week before Christmas in a whole new kind of fog. Half “wow he’s really grown up and is taking responsibility…sort of” and half “Can’t-I-just-put-him-back-in-that-onesie-and-stuff-him-under-the-Christmas-tree,” all 6’3” of him, where he would be safe?
It’s apparently, still all about the baby.
Category Random Road Tripping | Tags: | No Comments
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December 16, 2011 by jmcarthur
When you plan a road trip, there are a few things you need to consider and it helps if you think about these things in advance of your trip. Sure, you could always wing it, but then there may be disappointments waiting for you on the open road. Someone might have a bathroom emergency when you’re miles away from civilization, you might run out of money and not have enough to get you home or your car might break down. These are all things that can usually be prevented with a little advance preparation.
Music – We talked in a previous post about creating a road trip playlist. If you don’t have a lot of time to prepare, you can cut this step, but do bring a fully loaded mp3 player or a stack of good CD’s. You’ll almost certainly drive through areas where you don’t get radio or satellite reception. Do you really want to rely on your friends’ singing for entertainment in these moments?
Food – This is my favorite topic, but I know better than anyone that a hungry passenger is a grouchy passenger. You might have all your meal stops planned out in advance, but you still need to bring some snacks and beverages to keep you and your guests on good terms for the duration of the trip.
Breaks – Even if you’re relying on your GPS, it’s always a good idea to map out the rest stops before you head out. Depending on where you go, you might encounter areas where there are no gas stations or restaurants for many miles. At least if you know this in advance, you can fill up on food and gas, and hit the bathrooms at the last rest stop before you hit this area.
Budget – If you’re all splitting the costs, you should try to estimate the total and contribution per person before you go. This won’t be exact, and let everyone know that, but it’ll let you know who can and who can’t afford this trip. Once you arrive at your destination, make a note of how much the trip there cost. Remind everyone to keep at least that much money on hand for the ride back.
Car Prep – Before you leave, you should always get an oil change and check your car’s tire pressure. If you have an older vehicle, have it checked out by a trustworthy mechanic before you make any lengthy trips. Trust me; breaking down halfway to Miami is really going to put a damper on your spring break.
In addition to those tips, the best advice I can give you is to expect to be flexible. Before I could head out on my last road trip, I ended up waiting for my friend Maria for about 2 hours more than I expected. She’s a paralegal and works for really demanding lawyers, so she doesn’t always know what time she’ll get out of work. If she just leaves, she could lose her job, so I had to be understanding. Things will inevitably come up and plans end up changing. Just roll with it and have a good time.
Category Planning | Tags: , budget, food, music, people, planning, road trip, scheduling, travel | 3 Comments
I remember my first year of college. There were a lot of things missing. I was far too old for Trick or Treat. Thanks to the now defunct 3.2 beer, I did get to dress up and go to Halloween parties. There were no snow days since I lived on campus. And the library was actually for studying.
